petoria

gi saw a family guy tonight, where peter griffin could only play the piano when he was drunk, and he could also vomit-fall down-and hit on lois's sister- but apart from that he could play some serious piano. Now this reminded me of myself who, me, can only blog when i've had a few partucket patriots, (which is family guy code for cheap red wine) but joe next door like coors, and you can hear him saying 'go the silver bullet' as he is pushed out of the partucket brewery, and seeing as ive been to america i actually get that joke, because the silver bullet is what they call a can of coors light, americans for some reason seem to love drinking from their cans. On an unrelated note, i wish i could walk around with a gloc 9mm, but no, i cant even have a god damn paintball gun without a license.

Only in America. And hooters, see i knew hooters tried to open up shop in australia back in the late 90's, but failed (perhaps because we don't tip! so it doesn't matter if your a hot chick in a tank top or a fat chick in overalls you''ll still make the same cash (am i right boys? yeah you know im right.) but anyway apparently they have opened a new one in paramatta recently. But i don't give it long, because without tips, seriously there is no point in having hot chicks at a restaurant. Like i went to a couple of hooters in america, so i know what im talking about, they come and rub your arm and flirt and stuff and you give 'em five or ten bucks, but that wouldn't happen in australia because we don't tip. Now i'm not saying tipping is good, im just saying that the concept probably wouldn;t work in australia because we don;t have tipping.

I heard that tipping for the yanks, came about during the depression when noone could afford to pay their staff, but instead of laying them off, they expected those who could afford a meal out to pay a bit extra to cover the waiters/ress payment for the night. Thus tipping was born. So the waiter/ress is payed nothign and relies on those who can afford the meal. And it has carried on through till today. --It works out to about a dollar US per drink, so it gets really fucking annoying, but on the flipside a bottle of jim beam is 12bucks, thaty about 18aussie dollars!! that's right you can buy a big bottle of beam for 18 aussie dollars because they don't have tax on it. And man that was my downfall when i first got there.

On another unrelated note, i've just watched the second episode of heroes, (it was on way back when i was in the USA but i had frat parties to contend with, rather than sitting watching the tube) but now im back ive started watching this show, and man its fucking awesome pop entertainment, it's a case study in suspense, lol. I love it. Its the first series that im going to follow since the OC (which i stopped watching after season 2) and before that was dawson's creek, --i missed the whole prison break thing--- so all in all ive only followed three shows, the rest of the tv i watch is -family guy-simpsons-futurama-kingofthehill- and occasionally bold and beautiful (it depresses me, but its always on tv when mum and dad watch it so sometimes i tune in) - so i have big expectations for heroes, and so far it hasn't let me down, like life has , lol. I mean who else thought that they would be living in a highrise apartment in manhatten and drinking martini's at night with models and working a high powered stock broking job by day by the time they were 24. I know i did, and now i get excited if i get to leave the house to go to the post office-- ahh life's miserable dissapoinments.

p.s --colts blow.
pps- also whoever is still reading this let me know, because im just about ready to stop. I know lachy is reading it, thats about it. But who cares, ill still write it for lachy, you know it lachy!!

Quotes from family guy

Brian: I just spent all morning watching a VH1 special on Gwen Stefani. I don't know what a Hollaback girl is. All I know is that I want her dead.
***
Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
***
Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
***
Peter: I think the lesson here is, it really doesn't matter where you're from, as long as we're all the same religion.
***
Peter: Oh man, Lois is really pissed at me.
Brian: Yeah, who knew welfare fraud was one of her buttons? --- (i love this one, who knows what random crap women will get upset at, guys, am i right? yeah you know i'm right)

I feel that sometimes, things in the past hurt so much, that it affects how you feel now. And i'm talking about everything, from a simple kiss to ten years of friendship that now seems useless. I am talking about the true essence of life______ and it hurts and it is glorious at the same time. I ask you now. Have you ever had such a moment that you feel like 'this is life! this is pretty much it, there might be some other high points in the future, but if the bus hits me now i have reached that ultimate level of sensation? Or are you still languishing in the doldrums, and too afraid to do something. But who is to say that anything is courageuous or not? What person tells you that you're such a hero? Aren't we all in this weird cosmic boat together, with no directions, and only a paddle with which we don't really know how to use?' But i ask you to just think of a time of pure beauty, someplace in your life that felt right and pure and good, and then ask yourself, is that life? ---------------or is life when you walked outside and killed that snail. Who is to say? In this sweet madness, at least people with our priviledge have the luxury of thinking of such things, so, so many billions of people in the world do not have the opportunity to think of anything but obtaining water and food. And here we are contemplating the meaning of life, we must think ourselves lucky because there are so many people thinking of obtaining bread whether it be stale or not, and here we are trying to decide how best to live our lives. But alas with such tradgedy i will move forward, and so must we, because unless we have great monies or effect legislature, we might aswell think of oursleves, because life is brutal and no one else will. So then...

Things seem so very simple in a single moment, but when looked back upon, they are the most incredible and intricate of times, never to be reclaimed and forever to langour without hope in such a situation as we can never relive. -----And yet our lives moves ever forward, while that which is beautiful dissapears further away, until it is nothing but a point in the distance and we finally remark on how beautiful it adds to the sky's glamour for the night. And then we sleep, we curl up in bed and feel our body shiver against the felt, and warm the felt, and then our body is warm. But our soul longs for more, it feels happy on those special moments, that come so rarely-

-but they do come and it is then that all the hardship makes sense. All that shit that we carry every day, everything we burden oursleves with and hope to one day achieve PERFECTION, we want to be the most incredible person that we can be,( but what if that person isn't so good anyway.) And we all move forward --no matter if we animal or human--into such a great unknowing and unjudging abyss that we can only hope to achieve one moment, one sheer moment of glory and happiness that makes all the anxiety dissapear, and it makes all the pain drop off the edge of the cliff, and it makes all our emotions which are so vastly turbulent, seem happy for a blink of the eye. (And we might write a few lines to try and clarifly with the other blog readers,) but in the other blink we dispare, and then die. Never to be heard from again, and all our shitty problems that we think are so important die with us. In three generations we are gone; never to be thought of again.