Cryonics and the Freezer Man
Jesus Christ, superstar, went to town on a yamaha.
Did a skid, killed a kid and burnt his balls on the petrol lid.
When i die bury me, underneath a cherry tree.
When they're ripe, take a bite.
And don't blame me if they don't taste ripe.
I think that's how it goes, if i remember rightly. Anyway, the point of this schoolyard jingle is to introduce the topic of what will i do with my body when i die?
-I'd always thought i didn't care what happened to my corpse. I wouldn't mind if noone claimed me, and my cold lifeless body had to be disposed of by the government, you know like those med shows, where the doctor is sad because he starts caring for his patient and then the guy dies and noone comes to claim the body, so it goes out the back and is processed and then we eat it for cereal, mm soylent green, wait i just merged ER with an old movie.
-it all comes back to Alcor, the life extension organization founded in 1972. I was drunk, and for some reason watching the discovery channel the other night when i watched a show about freezing dead people to bring them back to life at a later stage. And apart from Walt Disney, i had no idea anyone actually did this, but aparently it's all the rage.
http://www.alcor.org/ that is the website, i think only two companies offer the service, (only in america)
anyway they explain it like this:
Q: What is cryonics?
A: Cryonics is the practice of using very cold temperatures to stop the dying process when ordinary medicine can no longer sustain life. This is done with the intention of saving a patient's life until a cure for their illness can be found, and means developed to reverse the cryonics process. The technology to reverse cryonics is still theoretical.
Q: Has anyone ever been revived?
A: No adult human has ever been revived from temperatures far below freezing. Cryonics patients are cared for in the expectation that future technology, especially molecular nanotechnology, will be available to reverse damage associated with the cryonics process. This technology may become a reality a century or more in the future.
Q: How much does cryonics cost?
A: Most people pay for cryonics with life insurance, and since the actual cost of that depends on your age and health, to find out your specific cost you would need to shop for life insurance. Alcor offers two options: for whole body preservation you would need a minimum policy of $150,000, and for neuropreservation you would need a minimum policy of $80,000.
-this part is hilarious, it's lifted straight from Futurama. Where if you're a cheapskate you can pay less and have your head frozen!!!!!!!! that's right they cut off your head and freeze it!!! What a better way to spend my life insurance--screw my family and kids, they can live off bread vouchers, i'm using my dead money to get a full body freeze. And as soon as scientists discover the cure for 17stab wounds to the back, i'll be thawed out and ready to party in my bunker with xenu.
Did a skid, killed a kid and burnt his balls on the petrol lid.
When i die bury me, underneath a cherry tree.
When they're ripe, take a bite.
And don't blame me if they don't taste ripe.
I think that's how it goes, if i remember rightly. Anyway, the point of this schoolyard jingle is to introduce the topic of what will i do with my body when i die?
-I'd always thought i didn't care what happened to my corpse. I wouldn't mind if noone claimed me, and my cold lifeless body had to be disposed of by the government, you know like those med shows, where the doctor is sad because he starts caring for his patient and then the guy dies and noone comes to claim the body, so it goes out the back and is processed and then we eat it for cereal, mm soylent green, wait i just merged ER with an old movie.
-it all comes back to Alcor, the life extension organization founded in 1972. I was drunk, and for some reason watching the discovery channel the other night when i watched a show about freezing dead people to bring them back to life at a later stage. And apart from Walt Disney, i had no idea anyone actually did this, but aparently it's all the rage.
http://www.alcor.org/ that is the website, i think only two companies offer the service, (only in america)
anyway they explain it like this:
Q: What is cryonics?
A: Cryonics is the practice of using very cold temperatures to stop the dying process when ordinary medicine can no longer sustain life. This is done with the intention of saving a patient's life until a cure for their illness can be found, and means developed to reverse the cryonics process. The technology to reverse cryonics is still theoretical.
Q: Has anyone ever been revived?
A: No adult human has ever been revived from temperatures far below freezing. Cryonics patients are cared for in the expectation that future technology, especially molecular nanotechnology, will be available to reverse damage associated with the cryonics process. This technology may become a reality a century or more in the future.
Q: How much does cryonics cost?
A: Most people pay for cryonics with life insurance, and since the actual cost of that depends on your age and health, to find out your specific cost you would need to shop for life insurance. Alcor offers two options: for whole body preservation you would need a minimum policy of $150,000, and for neuropreservation you would need a minimum policy of $80,000.
-this part is hilarious, it's lifted straight from Futurama. Where if you're a cheapskate you can pay less and have your head frozen!!!!!!!! that's right they cut off your head and freeze it!!! What a better way to spend my life insurance--screw my family and kids, they can live off bread vouchers, i'm using my dead money to get a full body freeze. And as soon as scientists discover the cure for 17stab wounds to the back, i'll be thawed out and ready to party in my bunker with xenu.
You too can live in this metal tube for $140,000
Check out the genuine scientitians looking professional with their antiquated computer monitors and big knob things that look like they are from the 1940's. Quotes: from My name is Earl:
Earl: So here I am,...teachin'. The last time i stood in front of a room full of foreigners, I was robbin' the DMV
*
Catalina: What exactly is a country fair?
Randy: It’s like Disneyland for poor people
*
Therapist: Earl, maybe you need to ask yourself if you have a gambling problem.
Earl: Hmm, no, I don't have a gambling problem, I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem. So why don't y'all pour some sugar on that?
*
Joy: Not everybody is trying to change the world, Earl. Some of us are just trying to get our fair taste of a waterbed business when our parents kick the bucket.
posted by danielinamerica at 6:02 PM
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