season three - sex and the city

, kimbo you would be so jealous, i was drinking with a dude who has been in sex and the city, one of the episodes in season three, cynthia nixon is standing in line at a bookshop and she turns and says something to him and he says a line in reply!, he said cynthia nixon is really tall and sarah jessica parker and kirsten davies were standing on a box to look equal height, and he said sarah jessica parker was bumming smokes from him because she can't take them on set (all the while saying she doesn't smoke) . he said something about being on sopranos too but i barely know either show so i didnt pay that much attention....

but i do know he and his girlfriend live above a bar run by australians... so the rumors are true , i heard whispers on the tour that there was an australian bar somewhere in NYC but noone exactly knew where, well if all goes well its at 9th st and ave C and its called the sunburnt cow, im glad i had the sense to write it on a napkin, normally i would be drunk and think yeah yeah ill remember that, but even in the state i was in, i knew this was an important find so i wrote it on a napkin.. (this was in a bar in greenwich village, i was told bob dylan grew up just across the street and i was going to head soho but i heard it's more of a yuppy place and the drinks are more expensive so i was stayed where the liquor ran fast and cheap, greenwich village takes up about twelve square blocks of manhatten)

the dudes fat friend was a producer and actor too, and he said he could get me some work as the tough guy after i asked him. ill have to get paid under the table, the FBI are already tracking my movements and i don't want anymore troubles with the IRS

i saw the statue of liberty yesterday, which was impressive but smaller than i thought, and ground zero, but they dont really like calling it ground zero , its the world trade center memorial - soon to be the freedom tower.youan check out plans for the new tower, it looks really tall and really impressive - much nicer than the original twin towers, i think the website was www.rebuildny.com or something like that and it has all the plans.

simmo whats going on, i read thatyour dissillusioned with the blogging world, don't tell me your run on the blog wagon is over!!!

tim, good work buddy i see you finally got rid of that unauthorised access thing at the top of my blog, nice work that's why i keep you around !

quote
'one day a real rain will come and wash the scum from the streets' - taxi driver..
(i dnon't know if i've been here too long but i'm starting to see de niro's point)

NYC

new york is a heck of a town, the school yards up and the shopping malls down, wait.... nyc took some getting used to you, but its been awhile now, three nights and im starting to feel at home , out of any city it seems similar to sydney but with the whole grid and numbered streets it makes commuting a breeze, i dont mean to sound like a travel agent,

its 6.30 am and i just got back to the hostel, i saw the producers last night, which was great being a broadway musical and all, then went to an irish bar to have a last hoorah with all the aussies from the tour before they head back down under.

i plan on riding the subway out to the ferry today to see ellis island and the statue of liberty, the ferry leaves from across the road from ground zero (wow a homeless guy just called my mobile, i sort of remember giving him ten bucks a few hours ago to catch some bus, and he was so greatfull he spoke for ages, then we exchanged numbers and he told me he would call once he got on the bus safely, and he just called!!! he is as black as they come but he said his name is james olachlan and he is irish!! he said his dad is full irish) so ground zero i heard, is supposed to be quiet and everyone just mulls around, we'll see. the whole town is less hectic than made out, it has the five boroughs, but manhatten is the only one to see for the tourists, pretty much. it seems extremely safe and a part from the rude waiters who dont have those southern values and the cab drivers who nearly run you over as you cross the street on a green light its nice.

i acidentally stumbled into the business area near wall street and saw a taping of LAW and ORDER , it was the original series, i dont watch it but i recognised the dude with the gray hair , the whole street was blocked off with about twenty people sitting in directors chairs watching little screens

and i can work the cabs out now, standing out in the middle of the road and waving your arm like an idiot!!!! most of the cars on the road are cabs so it's a sea of yellow,

kimbo you'd be happy im thinking of doing a 'sex and the city' show tour, just to see some good sites. i did watch a couple of episodes on your recomendation and it was ok.


i have a cell number now, so if you want i am now contactable

Washington D.C (shh i think the government is monitoring me)

does anyone know the rapper 'the man'? i was hanging with him at a bar near the whitehouse, he benchpresses 365, then it was about 1 am and i took a look at the whitehouse, i was asking the people i was with about security and where the snipers where , and the microphones picked me up, so i was followed for a couple of blocks by a secret service van, the security was extremely underwhelming there was a vagrant passed out near the gates (i assume the security is well concealed, but i thought there would be a greater show of force, there was one lowly guard that looked like he one of the dunces that guard the trains from maitland to newcastle) well anyway i have now been within 200 feet of bush while he was sleeping, a girl in the group said he was probably dreaming about teletubbies,

i forgot to mention before , i was at the kennedy space centre on a tuesday discovery landed on the monday, so i was mere hours from seeing a shuttle landing, D.C is a nice place like with everywhere here as long as y stay away from the projects, and the other day i walked through the gas station and car park where the d.c sniper shot a couple of folks from the back of his lincoln,

bars, gotta love the american bars, there are no slot machines! none! i havent seen a single 'pokie' and the bars themselves are big and wooden and yu sit up eating nachos and if i havent already mentioned the freepouring the bartender just rearends the bottle of beam and bromely you'll love it, tip big the first drink and the bartender will have you wired for the rest of the night but stay away from 151 unless you want to wake up in the motel bathroom

i tried to post the above post at the national constitutional center in philadelphia, and i must have flagged some key security words when i mentioned bush and sniper and bomb in the same sentence, because the computer logged me out and wouldnt allow acces anymore. the spooks are after me.

im a vagrant now, a cynical vagabond if you will, tonight is my last night of proper accomadation, for the next four days ill be sleeping on the floor of the people on the tour who have paid the extra four hundred us dollars for four more nights in ney york , after that , who knows ill go where the wind takes me, new york is big but its only 8 million people so far it seems very similar to sydney only double the size and full of people in a hurry (where is that aussie charm, or southern charm that im use to), that is manhatten anyway nyc is divided into four parts, manhatten, bronx , something and something else, but manhatten is all yuo need to see if your a tourist, unless yuor want to see a yankee game thats in the bronx,

shea and sarah jane say - hooters you rat birdman if you want a broken collarbone ring us, tigger is the man , daisey is fucked all the time , skiddy is a two timer who doesnt shower, sam is legend, todd does not want anyone to have his phone number and a whore who screams like a girl (sam says) sy;via is the best

ok they are gone , peace and quiet! i saw the coyote ugly bar at d.c but i think ill see the original in new york if i can find it!!!!!!
and forsythe, what do yuo do to get tickets to conan obrien??????????????

-Glyn, have you slept yet? have you started attending support groups to alleviate your insomnia norton style?

ive left some comments on the previous post
'idiosyncracies'
- entree is the main course
-no potato chips at the bar

quotes
'its not beastiality its inter-species erotica' - sexy stud- clerks 2

'what does an actor know about politics' - ronald reagan

'pillow pants is the troll in her vagina' - elias - clerks 2

'the feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women, it is about socialist , anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians' -pat robertson ,crazy preacher dude.

there is a geman chick walking on my bACK

-UMM HELLO I STRART DRINKING NOW Mking outside im wearing a cowboy shirt umm 116 paris and nicole what do you think ,thats it ... thats what the german chick told me to write. im in savanah georgia which is the heart of slave country, im on a laptop in someones room where there is a party , i had some good cocktails, its 2.57 am and tthey are setup with a wireless connection on his laptop the german chick just corrected me on the spelling of savanah, kimbo the land of free is awesome your going to have a ball, and dave you try doing punctuation when you have had the most lethal drink in the country,

hopefully i will find a post office tomorrow i have tried to find one for the past week, i have alot of outgoing mail, morris i hope you are reading this leave a comment so i know!!! otherwise dave call him and tell him the web adress because he has probably lost it, kim you have to see texas it has been one of my favorite states yet, no they are trying to pull my pants down ,
so whats the news in australia are you guys involved in the israel thing too??
skiddy says - fuck you aussies find a german maid thats all ive got to say about that wait the german maid is called cinderella and you can cal lme shrek, and hooters is a top bloke, thats all

this is me agian, im called hooters now , cause i went to a casino near our las begas hotel and skipped dinner, and it just so happened to be a hooters casino so everyone calls me hooters now, thats my new name
tim your the dam co ordinator of this site your supposed to get rid of that not authorised thing at the op of my page !!!!!! do your job !!!!!!!!!!!

kimbo- everyone sounds like danielle from antm , i was asking the girl at the lobby where the post office was, and she had to slow down the drawl i felt slow.,
um

some more idocincracies, (imdrunk and cant spell)
an entree is the main course there is an appetiser but the entree is the main course

and a salad consists of only lettuce

i nearly forgot my roommate has gone again after two days, he has flown to montana to meet the parents, then to vegas to marry her, so he was only on the tour for about five days, he bought a suit to meet the parents from wal-mart (gotta love the wal-mart) it looked like something forest gump would wear

its morning now i havent checked my blog sober for a long time, wow, im impressed a lot of it is actually coherent i wasn't expecting that, florida was ok not nearly as fun as new orleans, maybe because i spent three days in tacky orlanda without doing any of the theme parks, orlando is like gold coast, but our motel was far away from downtown so not much partying to do,

im in savanah georgia at the moment im sitting here with the devil ,the cocktail i was drinking last night had grain 105 or something in it- its more potent than 151, its called everclear and apparantly it is 90% alcohol, i only had one of them - because i am on a detox!! i bought some some vitamin drinks and a lot of water and had at least a 48 hour break from drinking , then the tour guide surprised us with a secret tour of the budweiser factory!!!so that ended the detox with free beer, ill try it again tonight because i think the place we are going to in north carolina is a little slow.

and i saw the park where forest gump tells his story on the movie, there is no park bench i'm told it's a hollywood effect , and i think ill be in north carolina tonight, well that's all i have to say about that

quote - 'unleash the fury max' - road trip (i think the snake is called max)
'are you here for the feeding?'

wow a computer !! what in pete's sake is that?

im finally in florida, i havent even seen a computer for a week, ive been lost in the deep south, new oreans!!! it has the swamps, the alligators, the cajuns, the beads, bourbon street (where every band played sweet home alabama at least once every twenty minutes) and the whiskey jelly shots that the barmaid injects in your mouth with a syringe. i left a comment on the previous post about a mistake i made going into a unisex strip club

i did a swamp tour 'simpsons' style on an airboat to go gator catching, you just throw a marshmellow in the water and a gator appears and the crazy cajun dude picks it up,

80% of the city is below sea level , but the tourist area which is the french quarter is above sea level and is so virtually unaffected, i even went to the bubba gump shrimp restaurant and had chicken, and today at hooters i had the shrimp, everything is fried , they even fry pickles, they love the fried food. they have the strongest cocktail in the world, the jester, but i had a hurricane which has two shots of 151 and about four other shots, that took me on a wild ride through bourbon street , i think i even ended up with some beads , i walked a few bad streets, and ive nerver met a nasty person and new orleans is supposed to be one of the worst towns in the usa, of course i could find trouble, but everyone is so god dam nice i cant think it would happen, at the bar this black dude told me is mostly just teenagers who do the muggings, but everyone is so dam nice and the free pouring liqour ,

i would have to say usa kicks ass over australia in every aspect apart from the gun thing, and a lot of people ive spoke to are for gun conrtol its just there is so much politics to actually change a law its nearly fruitless to try, and by the way they do have a hecs type system where you can go to college and pay it back later and on welfare you could even say you get a better deal, because if your a doctor yu get 20% of your income for six months after you are fired and if your a janitor you get 20% of your income, so it pays to better yourself in this country , like in australia you get the same unemployment if you're either a janitor or a doctor, but after six months you're fucked in the usa, and the health care thing, unlike what people think you do get free ER care, your only fucked if it is lective surgery cause you have to wait a long time, which the same could be said in australia, so the only difference is the gun thing and according to the poputlation there isnt a whole heap of gun violence. and there is no tall poppy syndrome, it is a pure capitlist society and people cheer for others who make it , and the bars are better, good live music everywhere , i said to a band tonight play sweet home alabama and ill buy your cd so they did, but the dude fucked up my favourite line, 'watergate does not bother me' and then he added 'yes it does' , so why even sing such a song if you disagree with so much,.. and the confederate flag, i thoguht it would be a lot more prevalent, i spoke to a democrat in new orleans last night (equivalent of the labor party in australia, but not really i would say even howard would be left wing in america, cause ive spoke to alot of democrats who hate unions and like a free marketplace) and i asked about the confederate flag, and he is a left wing crimal lawyer and he said he used to fly it , because it stands for being yourself and saying fuck you to a government that is thrying to tell you what to do, but a few idiots ruined it and flew it under the white power thing , but i'll still buy one in n-carolina and fly it proud based on its original merit, and i wish the kkk and others would leave it alone because some of the nicest people i have met are black and i would never wish anything bad against them or anyone for that matter,

we are all just walking around trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and what does it matter how much pigment we have in our skin. but imigration still has to be legal and controlled , because as you hear on the news about hesbollah firing rockets alot of hezbolah got caught crossing the southern border, so a temporary working visa is a the middle ground and that is what bush proposed, but he had to bow to his core and send the national guard, but we do live in a physical world not a fairy pixy land where everyone lives on the goodwill of others. and you can have legal immigration without discrimination - this has been a drunk message and for all you who were dissapointed that i deleted the last one i hopefully wont delete this one, unless i wake up and see how stupid it sounds, so what are your thoughts should i delete it??? seacrest out!

before new orleans is memphis, where i spent the night at b.b kings bar and of course took in the sights at graceland. and i visited the hotel of dr. martin luther king jr.'s assaination, it's like being on a tour of assasinations, outside the hotel where king was shot there is the worlds longest protest by a lady who has been there for 18 1/2 years, she is protesting the fact that they turned the hotmel into a civil rights museum , i sort o fget it , they spent twenty million on the museum and she knows dr. king would have had the money better spent, but it is a great way to see the injustices committed, and you have to learn from the past
the music on beale street in memphis is amazing every bar has a blues band playing the street is alive

-kimbo i found a marathon of the hills on mtv yesterday, so it was a great way to pass off a hangover
-yeah my roomate stumbled back on the tour three days ago, but he is flying back off it on saturday, and i forgot to mention in texas i was hanging with a texas state defensive lineman , his made the rose bowl and was on espn, he was a giant
-and anyone following one red paper clip, you can find it on google, where the dude started off with one red paper clip and was trying to get a house, he got a house!!!!! he traded up from a paper clip!! and got a house!!!!
-steve i think there is a big market for a roscos expansion over here!!! there are hundreds of boutique candy brands, there are the big players of course, but much more room for a little guy

idiosyncracies
white coffee - everytime i ask for this they look at me like im part of the kkk
chicken burger - noone knows what that is because of course a burger is only something made from beef
beetroot- i dont even think it exists on this continent,

america is australia on steroids

its true everything is bigger in texas, the beers are about the size of a litre milk bottle, and their attitude is full throttle, but they are extremely nice so long as you 'dont mess with texas',, old mate didnt finish the 72ounce /two and a half kilo steak , he still had 1.3 kilos left over .

i saw the grassy knol today, 'back and to the left' 'back and to the left' , for all the jfk fans with kevin costner.

texas has some sweet night spots , i wore a cowboy hat and big texas belt buckle to blend in, and the rodeo some dude fell on his head and nearly broke his neck, dallas stadium tomorrow we actually get to kick the football on the field and see the locker rooms

italy won, wow whats up with that.

151 is potent

i did armwrestle some mexicans, i cant remember what else i wrote about, maybe something about gun control, but i thought for public image i should sensor myself and delete the post. i was drinking bacardi 151 which is 75% alcohol, and they dont have 30ml shots here they are about double,
its all about free pour, and the more you tip the bigger the shot they give you!

the mexicans thought they could win, fools, so they had to buy me drinks, then when the bar shut and they said last call and everyone out but the aussies, so we got to drink on.

my room mate is still awol probably tied up to a bed in a seedy motel room in phoenix with no money and possesions, travelling to texas atm there are hummers on the highway every couple of minutes , there is a steak eating contest at the steakhouse like homer simpson, 2.5 kilograms of steak, if you finish it in under an hour its free

ive got a counterfit one dollar bill already , their money is pathetic, it dissintegrates,

quote 'im twenty eight years old, i'll eat a chicken sandwhich if i want to!'
'eat your god dam roast beef.'
'i want to eat a chicken sandwhich!!' - freddy got fingered

independence day

the land of the free home of the brave,
in 1776 ben franklin and his buddies at the continental congress drew up the declaration of independence and showed it to the poms , who chose not to accept so the battle began, today 230 years later anerica is celebrating its birth

i have no room mate now , he met a girl in vegas ans is now off somewhere in Arizona i think maybe Phoenix, in vegas this morning he came into the room at 6.30 am took his bags and left with her, he might make it back on the tour,, i dont mind i have a room to myself now and i get all his meal vouchers,

the temperature is around 107 im not sureof the conversionbut im in usa i dont have to know whats happening in the rest of the world, we act unilaterally! i think leaving veags it was 44 degrees celcius

grand canyon is impressive , they obviously dont have the same ohs laws in usa as oz,the tour guide said on average every 20-50 tourists fall in each year, beacause you can walk up to the edge, but he said 5million people visit so the odds arent that bad, thats what happens in the land of the free

and i saw the guns in wal mart there are pump action shot guns displayed in the same glass case that our big w in oz would put their box set dvds, a giant man in front of me buying amo was asked what he was shooting... 'i aint shooting animals , i work in repo!'

movie tidbit the cabins we are staying in the grand canyon have the building/reception where chevy chase stole money from the cash register in national lampoons family vacation

im off to blow shit up with some massive fireworks!!!

are you 21 sir

i am at the new york new york casino acroos the road i went to the mgm grand and there were lions!! in the middle of the gaming tables, americans are insane, they are either massively overweight or look slightly retarted,
it is like being stuck in 1992, they still use styrofome packaging for burgers and everything else and they dress like the 90's , every car is at least twice the size of ours, i have seen about five hummers but the hummers seem small to the trucks everyone drives everyone drives suv's, and tipping

tipping is weird everyone seems so greatfull to get a couple of bucks, hooters casino across the road is awesome every casino is great for that matter, free drinks and cigars!!!

the flight was good for six hours till they cut me off frm drinking, me and old mate from across the isle set up our own bar near the toilets for about two hours before they made us move on, never fly united!!!!!