Shocking Revelation

There has been a truly shocking revelation. Ladies and Gentlemen i am sorry to announce that the mysterious producer behind the classic film 'Just Like Stone,' has broken his silence. The madness behind the shooting of the film has now been revealed. And we can only look on in disgust, as the mysterious producer reveals, never before scene footage of Stone 'off the camera'
some are saying: 'sex, drugs, and rock and roll, only scratch the surface of this depravity.'
others have said: 'transgender women. Where did that come from?'
one even commented: 'Was this film really necessary?'

This three minute tell-all is as compelling as it is revolting. The truth behind Stone's manic personality is shocking to the core. And i must implore that you don't watch.

But if you do, here is the weblink:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZgM4bUTqkA

And you must watch the original classic film first:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWiL4-F-wlE

Just Like Stone

My life is now complete. I can not achieve anything better in my life, than 'Just Like Stone.' The two minute motorcycle stunt movie i made to today, with Simon 'Stone' Clulow. What started out as just a simple filming of a stunt, turned in to what some are calling, 'a true revelation into human spirit.' Others have dubbed it. 'Instant classic which breaches the motorcycling world and comedy, and makes it accesible to all.' One even wrote. '....' obviously they were speechless. -others are in disbelief that i have topped my previous motorcycle stunt film.

We started simple, and filmed the stunt, only to later discover editing software on my computer. And what was created, may never be achieved again. For it was truly magic.

I now present you, with cinema at its finest. Dialogue, that compells. Action that electrifies. And a kickass credit sequence.Ladies and Gentlemen,i give you.

'Just Like Stone.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWiL4-F-wlE

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows

This blog has nothing to do with Harry Potter. I just thought i would use that title to try and get some extra hits.

This blog is actually about my new tattoo, it isn't finished yet, i get it coloured in in two weeks.

I'm so sore. I thought for my tattoo unveiling i would do something special and do a motorcyclce stunt. Well, due to technical dificulties i ended up doing it three times. Oh man, craziness. But i hope you all enjoy. And check out the motorcycle crash with the tattoo unveiling. I ended up with petrol all over me, when the fuel line from the tank dislodged.

The first time i was going really fast, it's ashame it didn't work. I think my nerves made me slow down for the third time. It's weird making yourself go into a controlled crash. The adrenaline sure does flow.
Also watching the simpsons just now.Homer predicted the rapture, anyway, he speaks to God. I noticed that god has all five digits, whereas everyone else in the simpsons only has four fingers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7DpJc_OWkQ this is the web address for the video.

Below are some photos from the video on you tube.

Quote: This quote is interesting. It explores the argument about God giving a child a grenade. Imagine handing a child a grenade and saying, 'now don't play with that.' What sort of responsible adult would do such a thing? So, why would a responsible God do such a thing? You would only expect someone sadistic would actually give someone, a device which could destroy their happiness. Ahh, the hipocracy of the Christian God. Nothign against Christians, it's just that the folley's of other religions aren't unbiquitous in the pop culture on my TV. And i won't even start with Islam, lest a riot erupt.

Ned: Hi-diddly-ho, paradise-dwellers!

Marge: God?

Homer: Uh, good morning, Lord. I just have to, uh, compliment you on this beautifully crafted mate.

Ned: Oh, Adam, you're too kind.

Homer: No, you're too kind, and wise, and righteous. I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend.

Ned: Oh, please, you're going to give me a swelled head. I just stopped by to see if you needed anything.

Marge: Well, some general-interest magazines would be nice.

Ned: You got it, Eve. There you go.

Marge: Oh, thanks.Ned: Well, I'd better skedaddle. Oh, there's one more weensy little thing. See that tree over there? I hate to be a bossy Betty, but I have to forbid you to eat its fruit.

Homer: No problem, Lord! And it would be even easier to avoid that temptation if I had a few extra wives.

Marge: grrrr

Homer: Just saying.

***

Live Free or Die Hard

I have already dedicated at least two blogs, to New Hampshire's 'Live free or Die' state motto. I think it's pretty neat, and what about the people who choose to die. Well, anyway in America Bruce Willis' fourth installment of DOn Maclaine's adventures, blasted out of the cinema under the title. 'Live Free or Die Hard.' I thought it was classic, and really sums up Maclaine's attitude, he destroys half the city, but god damn he gets results. -I have the Internal Affairs and the DA breathing so far up my ass, that i got smoke coming out my mouth.-

So i guess 'Live Free or Die Hard' is a bit of an americanism, but i think we could have handled it. Instead they must have focus grouped it, to a bunch of the biggest nerds and computer geeks of all time, to come up with 'Die Hard 4.0' what a load of bullshit. I think Australia was up for live free or die hard, not pansy wansy, daffodil, puppy breath, Die Hard 4.0. Shame on you studio executives. They probably thought our tech savvy population would really see the humour in a software program pun. Instead of being kickass, we our left to wonder about the technological age, and how it even sneaks into movie titles.

Quotes:
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
--
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

It goes to eleven

don't forget to catch the kurri kurri lad, Casey Stoner at this weekends grand prix, i think its the German grand prix. With the aussie flag in his number 27, we can all be proud of this boy who would have spent some time growing up in cessnock. Is there anything cessnock and kurri kurri can't do? Andrew Johns the worlds greatest rugby leauge player is from kurri kurri, or cessnock , i'm not sure , but the point is, im not sure of that either.










Check out the size of this fish. Somehow my labrodor procured it from the pelicans. Since, the flood has gone down there are still pockets of water in the paddocks, which are now home to numerous waterbirds, like pelicans and black swans, and seagulls. And i have seen my labrodors out in the middle splashing around, and i guess Cleo grabbed a fish. Its a big mullet, i don't know where the head is, perhaps she ate it first. She was pretty proud of it, until ratsac stole it from her, and then the Saint Bernard ended up with, after i told ratsac to drop it.








I just have to put a photo of this guy who flew off in his lawn chair, im sure you've all seen it by now, but what a classic. He went 13000 feet, and travelled for nine hours. It takes me back to the days of jumping off the hayshed roof, with crap strapped to my arms, in the hope of flying.



ive been watching House again, after finishing the episodes i turned to the special features which were severally lacking, so im just watching the episodes again. I don't even watch other TV anymore. The other night peopel were talking about something big in the news and i had no idea, but i did recommend they get a trachotome and 50miligrmas of adrenaline stat. On second viewing i'm picking up so much more, like there is a section where Ron Livingston, from office space, i s on some weird moving bed for a test, and house turns it from six to ten, and then asks if it goes to 11, (from 'this is spinal tap'my amplefier goes to 11)
-
and Hugh Laurie who plays House, bought a triumph bonneville to celebrate getting the part of House, and he received his first motorcycle from his father at age 16. So the man is a motorcycle rider, he even rides it to the set. Respect. I feel like Homer, when he was obsessed with Thomas Edison, because Edison could do so much.

This is the photo that Toyota used. You can see the water above our windows, and the shed where we stayed. For more than a kilometre surrounding there is water.

---

This black Yamaha r1, is the motorbike i want to get next. And this is the Honda Fireblade that House rides. Yamaha don't make an r1 that has the race colours.

//

It's an amber coloured shame:

First VB announces this : 'In a move that will save the company up to $10 million a year in tax bills, the alcohol content in VB will drop from 4.9 per cent to 4.8 per cent from August.' 'VB marketing manager Ben Wicks says customers will not even notice the change.
"I think I'd be lynched if we changed the taste of VB," he said.

--that's a whole .1 % drop. So they save tax money, and we have to drink an extra beer to get drunk. So their sales go up.

/

But the thing that is really strange is the new VB midstrength. with 3.5% alcohol. I thought there was already a carlton midstrength, and VB is brewed by Carlton united breweries, which is a subsidiary of Fosters brewing group. Jroc will know know Fosters, that's what the americans and the rest of the world think we drink, thanks to some brilliant marketing. Anyway, why sully the good name of VB with a pussy beer.

/

The reason i support VB is because of that bitter bite you get after a swallow, that no other beers have, its vicious, and the PR image is cool too, it's a mans beer. (I remember i didn't even want to be friends with people who drank Tooheys NEW). We all know the ads, 'you can get it shearing a sheep. You can get it milking a cow. You can get it pulling your ute out of the bog, you can get it any old how, as a matter of fact i've got it now. For a hard earned thirst you need a big cold beer, and the best cold beer is Vic, Victoria Bitter.' And they have the inspirational music. That's how i remember it, i might of got some lines wrong. And they show macho blokes in blue singlets working there asses off, and when they knock off they go to the pub and order a schooner of VB. Now who works the ass off pulling a ute out of bog, or sheering a sheep and then goes to the pub to have some pussy ass midstrength beer.

Quotes:

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.--Benjamin Franklin

/

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra

/

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

/

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

/

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.--Homer Simpson

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.--Homer Simpson
Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. --Homer Simpson

/

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.--Oscar Wilde

/
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

/

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.--W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? --W.C. Fields

--

after these quotes, im going to go have some wine.

House MD

House just bought a honda repsol race replica motorbike. I'm so impressed. I bought the first season of House on sunday, and today i bought the second season, and am up to the motorbike episode. Even the chick at the checkout said she wishes she coudl just watch house all day, well checkout chick, welcome to my world. A sack of wine, and two seasons of House. The most blissful three days of my life, and i still have the majority of season two to go. Anyway, i prefer yamaha, in particular the R1, which is in direct competition with House's fireblade honda. They are both 1,000 cc, but the r1 just has the styling.

And according to my motorcycle magazines (of which i spent 30bucks on the weekend) you don't want to get a race replica unless you can actually ride, and by ride, i mean corner. I've been riding for about two months now, on the road, and i'm just starting to really lean a decent amount on the corners, i would still be able to lean 70% more, but im going okay. My farm bike is a honda, and i've been riding that aroudn the farm for years, i even took scotty savage to hospital with a grazed hand that he thought was broken. Now that segue, ties me back into my House rant. House is a cripple and just starting to ride, a race replica i will add, and they made sure to close-up on the honda logo, just like they do house's nike shoes. (i just wish toyota made motorcycles, so i could be un-repudiated with a sweet bike. )

Anyway, House bought the bike because some 9year old girl had cancer and made him realize that you can die anytime, and that she was happy with her life, even though she was dying, and House isn't. He took a bike for a spin and loved it. Now, i'm not saying i don't love life or anything, i ride because its awesome, but House finally realized how awesome riding is. And i'm proud of him. Also, i love how there is an Austrlian in House, who actually plays the part of being Aussie, (it's also a giveaway that Hugh who play House, is British, becuase he says Ozzie with a ZZZ not an SSSS like all other yanks, so when he read it in the script he knew what to acutally say. Most yanks see Aussie, so they pronounce it Ossie. ) Anyway , he calle Dr. CHase English, and CHase says 'i'm australian' and House says 'YOu have the queen on your money that's enough for me''. and i watched the bonus features, and they talk about how aussies hate being called english just like canadians hate being called american, and i related it to my time in america (which is good seeing as this blog is called danielinAMERICA) and how 9 out of 10 times i was asked what part of england i was from.



postscript: i have finished the motorcycle episode, and am up to the part where we see House's parents. Now, House is one low down sonuvabitch, and his father caught me completely off guard. The writing for this show is impeccable, i can't fault it, all the way down to the casting of the most low down sonuvabith R. Lee Ermy as House's father. For those who don't know he is the nutsack drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, and has played the same character in many roles since, it just goes to show you can make a career of your fifteen minutes of fame-just lok to big brother. So who would be the best candidate for the father of lowest of the low sonuvabitch on TV, the craziest sonuvabitch that made detective goram (of law and order, i don't know his real name) kill himself in the bathroom block.



Also, i have to put in this photo of Jennifer Morrison. She plays cartman, i mean cameron in House. It was probably after the 15th episode that i actually sat back and went, wow her character is awesome, nd she is hot, perhaps i shoudl study medicine just to meet someone so nice. I think its her character that i like, she is smokin' but not the immediate hottness. To tell you the truth it was only after House said she was gorgeous in an episode, that i was like holy shit House is right. I know, i'm taking way too seriously House's opinion, especially since he is a fictional character. I just love his existential attitude. That's why Fight Club is one of my favourite movies, dealing with all that 'what's it all about' 'wo is me' stuff, and House is a pragmatic example of someone living the no rules thing. Anyway, Dr. Cameron is awesome.

Also speaking of favourite movies, and simmo isn't goign to like this. But Armageddon was my all time favourite movie. Directed of course by Michael Bay, who did Bad boys, and some other stuff, anyway critics always write him off, but fuck them , i cried when Bruce Willis sacrificed himself for Ben Affleck, so he could make his daughter happy. And fuck i loved transformers. (and there are 2 maybe more obvious references to armageddon if you are unabshed fan like myself, and i have not looked on the net for these, the first being explicit when diegetically the viewer hears 'this is way better than armageddon. and later on there is the reference to when Bruce Willis has the list of demands from the astronauts, and they don't want to pay 'ever again', and in transformers--i had it but now i've lost it, anyway Shia Labeouf says 'like never again' he is listing a demand just like in armageddon) moving on..... And i'm not just jumping on the bandwagon, i was into Optimus Prime, back in the 80's. I remember when he didn't have the flame streak and was just blue and red. And he had a tralier, which carried all the other autobots, and he wasn't just a prime mover, (hence the name) and in that trailer was bumblebee and all the others. And i remember when my best friend Luke got the Optimus Prime toy, with the trailer and all, and all i had was bumblebee , and my parents didn't buy it for me, (just like they never bought me reebok pumps, and i had to settle for Lynx) So you can't say i'm not a true fan. And fuck, for a toy that made me so happy, the movie made me just as happy. I don't know what you are thinking Simmo (and i write this knowing only simmo and lachy read this blog) but damn boy, life is one dissapointment after another, and if you look at life, and see what its all about. You come to the conclusion that you expect things from your friends. You expect them to behave in certain ways or do certain things, or anyone for that matter, and when your little preconceived notions are shattered and what you want in life doesn't happen for you, you get all upset and run away. Well, fuck, lower those expectations, because your lucky to be in such a good damn country, and appreciate some mindless entretainment when you see it. Because we are all growing up so damn fast, what's the point in being dissapointed. There is no rationale behind being upset about transformers. They weren't just putting up special effects, and tryign to make money, there was obvious effort there, and i thought the script was quite pleasing. Seriously does it matter if Prime has lips, fucking hell what has the world come to that we sit in our high tech booths looking for any micro point of disagreement to how we think things should be. Because they aren't, and they never will be, and you should just think yourself lucky enough that you can sit in a warm room and enjoy a thoroughly entertainable motion picture.