easy rider

i'm setting out onto the open road easy rider style, who knows where the road will take me, who knows man, i've seen places, i've seen things man, things you'll never want to see... i'll try and make it to queensland, but this country and its huge states.... it will be quite the effort on a motorcycle. On an equivilant trip in Europe i would cross three countries, and still make it to Paris by nightfall for some snails, expensive wine and a waiter with a snooty atitude. For my send out, my parents are taking me to an elton john concert in the vineyards, not really the rock'n'roll send out one expects for such a rebelious trip, but i think 'tiny dancer' could be a good trip theme song, if only i had a radio .... For some extra cash, on the way i think i might do some fruit-picking ... or i'll probably just end up two hours north at forster, camping in the same place i always camp, and then coming home in a couple of days. Either way i'm prepared for adventure, an adventure of epic proportions, with a grandness that has never been matched. The road is my new master, and the sky is my television, and the gas-station is my fridge, and my motor-cycle my couch... and that's about as far as i will take this metaphor. You've been a great audience - peace out.

Quotes:
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

Transformers

-while reading this blog i suggest play 'don't stop believing' by JOURNEY. It's the song that peter griffin sings when he is drunk, and mayor adam west stops outside saying '
Oh God, I love this song! And I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics!... but I HATE baseball cards!!!' and it's the finale song for the sopranos, and the clintons did a parody of it on a campaign ad. Oh god i would love a woman to run the USA but a republican like rice, someone who is tough, anyway you need to listen to song to while this blog.

i have to put it on record. I love Michael Bay movies. The Rock, (doing my best sean connery impression) 'do you understand the etymology behind the name godspeed.' and 'forget maui, you won't to go to kansas.' and then there is armageddon, where apart from the 'Jurrasic Bark' the dog episode in futurama where the dog dies waiting for Fry singing 'im walking on sunshine' other than that the only men are allowed to cry is when bruce willis sacrifices his life to ben affleck. It gets me every time. I also loved the movie 'the island' with ewan mcgreggor and the oh, so hot scarlett johansen at the end in her futuristic jumpsuit. But the Michale Bay put all the transformers nerds fears to rest with Transformers. And i am a child of transformers, i grew up with that shit, so my opinion counts more than most. I remember my friend having the optimus prime toy and i was ever so envious. But anyway apart from optimus prime's flames i fell in love with the movie, i rented it the other day and it is like some sort of brain candy. Michael Bay says on the dvd commentary that he received death threats from hardcore transformers fans, but damn,,, i actually had a really good good point but i had to go and get a jim beam drink so i forget , anyway, the chick in it is so hot, oh yeah i remeber now, on the commentary bay said that the us military gives him unpresdended acces because he presents them as doing there job in a professional manner, like pearl harbour, another great movie, anyway they alowed him acces to the most advanced planes and shit that have never been shot on film before, and the audience probably doesnt even notice. And shia le bouf gives such a great enthusiastic performance... it is has now almost topped gone in sixty seconds as my all time favourite movie. The one thing i hate though is john torturos cartoon performance but that is still ok i guess

Oh, to be a country that is loved.

check out these lyrics by randy newman (the guy that family guy parodied when a a-bomb killed everyone except for the griffins) -Australia can't do anything wrong and the world loves us!! The French saved the yanks from the poms in their revolutionary war, yet the yanks hate the frogs and vice versa, and everyone hates the frogs, and the japs for killing whales and dolphins and bombing pearl harbour, and the russians for being commy, and the chineese for over populating this earth, and the indians for the same and also stoopid bollywood, and again the poor old yanks who saved europe,

but little old australia we can't do anything wrong. Even NOFX say they want to be like us in their song 'Franco UN-american' where they we want to be like the nice australians.. so even though we are participating the iraq war, the very war that the world seems to hate, and so does NOFX- well apparently they either didn't do their research and realize that we are apart of the very war that they are protesting in that song, or it might be that they know we are fighting there, but we are just so damn cool they don't care!!! i would probably say the former. these anti-war people hate bush and the war so much they spew propoganda without any research. Let the anti-war fuckers look at Iraq now, progress is happening thanks to the genious of petraeus and bush and the surge. I was always against rumsfelds policy of having few troops on the ground. and as soon as the numbers were bolstered progress was made. Anyway check out the randy newman song.



POLITICAL SCIENCE Randy Newman


No one likes us-
I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens We give them money-
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin too
Boom goes London and boom Paree More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They'll hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now Let's drop the big one now

Quotes: Family Guy

(Randy Newman)-Fat man with... and his kids and dog.Drove in through the morning fog.Hey there Rover, come on over...
(Lois)-Well its nice to have a little music while we eat.
(Randy)-Red headed lady, Reaching for an apple.Gonna take a bite, nope, nope.She gonna breathe on it first,wipe it on her blouse.She takes a bite.Chews it once,twice,three times, four times, stops!The wife is thinkin', takes a hard long look at Randy...five times.Fat old husband walking over.
(Lois)-Lets get the hell out of here.
(Randy)-Yeah, They're walking down the road Left foot,Right footLeft foot,Right footLeft foot
***
Stewie: Uh you've reached stewie and brian, we're not here right now, uh and if this is mom, uh send money because we're college students and we need money for books...and highlighters...and.... ramen noodles...and condoms, for sexual relations with our classmates.
****
Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
****
Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma.
Mayor: Oh My...
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that Toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Mayor: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well that's just silly.
Mayor: Silly yes ... Idiotic ... yes.!

Wedginald

Be sure to check out dear old Wedginald at http://www.cheddarvision.tv/ The giant cheese teddy bear has been the hardest working internet star for the past year. Appearing live and uncensored around the clock 24/7. But now he has matured and it six days someone is going to eat him. I think he is currently going for around 600 pounds on eBay. I'm going to miss watching the little fella for hours on end-what will i watch now at 3am if i can't watch a chunk of cheese mature?

Cryonics and the Freezer Man

Jesus Christ, superstar, went to town on a yamaha.
Did a skid, killed a kid and burnt his balls on the petrol lid.
When i die bury me, underneath a cherry tree.
When they're ripe, take a bite.
And don't blame me if they don't taste ripe.

I think that's how it goes, if i remember rightly. Anyway, the point of this schoolyard jingle is to introduce the topic of what will i do with my body when i die?

-I'd always thought i didn't care what happened to my corpse. I wouldn't mind if noone claimed me, and my cold lifeless body had to be disposed of by the government, you know like those med shows, where the doctor is sad because he starts caring for his patient and then the guy dies and noone comes to claim the body, so it goes out the back and is processed and then we eat it for cereal, mm soylent green, wait i just merged ER with an old movie.

-it all comes back to Alcor, the life extension organization founded in 1972. I was drunk, and for some reason watching the discovery channel the other night when i watched a show about freezing dead people to bring them back to life at a later stage. And apart from Walt Disney, i had no idea anyone actually did this, but aparently it's all the rage.
http://www.alcor.org/ that is the website, i think only two companies offer the service, (only in america)
anyway they explain it like this:

Q: What is cryonics?
A: Cryonics is the practice of using very cold temperatures to stop the dying process when ordinary medicine can no longer sustain life. This is done with the intention of saving a patient's life until a cure for their illness can be found, and means developed to reverse the cryonics process. The technology to reverse cryonics is still theoretical.

Q: Has anyone ever been revived?
A: No adult human has ever been revived from temperatures far below freezing. Cryonics patients are cared for in the expectation that future technology, especially molecular nanotechnology, will be available to reverse damage associated with the cryonics process. This technology may become a reality a century or more in the future.

Q: How much does cryonics cost?
A: Most people pay for cryonics with life insurance, and since the actual cost of that depends on your age and health, to find out your specific cost you would need to shop for life insurance. Alcor offers two options: for whole body preservation you would need a minimum policy of $150,000, and for neuropreservation you would need a minimum policy of $80,000.

-this part is hilarious, it's lifted straight from Futurama. Where if you're a cheapskate you can pay less and have your head frozen!!!!!!!! that's right they cut off your head and freeze it!!! What a better way to spend my life insurance--screw my family and kids, they can live off bread vouchers, i'm using my dead money to get a full body freeze. And as soon as scientists discover the cure for 17stab wounds to the back, i'll be thawed out and ready to party in my bunker with xenu.

You too can live in this metal tube for $140,000

Check out the genuine scientitians looking professional with their antiquated computer monitors and big knob things that look like they are from the 1940's.

Quotes: from My name is Earl:

Earl: So here I am,...teachin'. The last time i stood in front of a room full of foreigners, I was robbin' the DMV

*

Catalina: What exactly is a country fair?

Randy: It’s like Disneyland for poor people

*

Therapist: Earl, maybe you need to ask yourself if you have a gambling problem.

Earl: Hmm, no, I don't have a gambling problem, I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem. So why don't y'all pour some sugar on that?

*

Joy: Not everybody is trying to change the world, Earl. Some of us are just trying to get our fair taste of a waterbed business when our parents kick the bucket.

season four, please no more.

okay, take a moment to bask in the witty title, now i will make my point. Many TV shows have a premise that can't go past season three. Shows like the OC, where some povo from cino moves to a rich kids pool house and causes trouble while making the nerd popular-this premise runs dry after three seasons, and on the fourth season it was axed. and according to my patchy memory, which is getting worse every day, i recall dawsons creek getting shit on its fourth season.
(talking about memory, every month that goes past i get more and more impressed with the simple recall of my friends, they seem to remember the last time we had a meal and what we talked about three meals ago, and all i can can remember is a friend with octopus arms and getting a call from the president-which is far from the truth,)

but many tv shows have a premise which can go indefinately like ER or whatever, and i thought i could House MD in this category- a show about about a brilliant doctor and his team of different personalities dealing with patients that had diseases that you wanted house to cure, and you felt for the people dying and the people treating them, but no , season four of house has all the magic of house and his subtle relations with his team dissapear, to be replaced with stupid heads that noone cares about, and now house is purely an asshole, where he used to be an asshole that you could care about because you wanted the patient to survive, and because of his relationship with his team, but all the magic is gone, and they have fucked with the premise, so it is now a hollow sheel that once resembled the show House MD, it has become a parody of itself. At least i have the first three seasons on dvd, and watching the fourth just makes me reminis over the first three. I think those first three seasons are the best thing humanity has ever done, they had all the philosophy of 3thousand years of society plus the science plus the subtle ways people care for each other and the magic of being a healer and wathcing peoples convalescence. But now it is just shitty contrived drama, about people i dont care about.

-also i would like to mention to Jroc that i never delete comments, it must have been a tech issue because all your comments from the previous post are there???

quotes:
(While playing Pacman at the bar)
Brian: Get, get the fruit. It's more points. Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna get the fruit.Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I can't get the fruit.
Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna get the fruit there's a ghost right there!