The 50689

lately i've been reading a cool sci-fi book by Alastair Reynolds called Glatic North, last year i read Pushing Ice. He writes some hard-core heavy sci-fi, but it's very rewarding. I also watched an episode of South Park the other where Cartman freezes himself because he can't wait for the nintendo Wii, and get defrosted in 500years, and hangs out with otters and stuff, i loved it, so i thought i'd try a bit of my own sci-fi, i just wrote this now in the last twenty minutes so i hope there's not too many errors. I love sci-fi because of the giant themes of life you can tackle. And span great casms of time. ANyway here is my first bit of sci-fi, enjoy:

The 50689

The number 50689 was emblazoned on the side of the carriage. Peter Rucker stepped up and onto the shiny floor that snaked like a metal worm throughout the compartment and bio-pods. His senses discerning the weight of his colleagues as they pushed in behind him, the sound of the bell outside, and the jolt as the carriage gained inertia.
‘I’ll see you in six months,’ the red-headed woman behind him said, as she moved into the nearest bio-pod and pulled tight the harness.
Peter merely waved off her remark and headed to a free pod not far away.
Charlene ran her hand through her thick fiery mane in an effort to act affronted and pulled the door shut. Peter was glad to see her disappear behind the metal, with a window too small to see her face. As the latch locked an electrocardiogram appeared across the window, her heart rate was raised. Peter smirked and found an empty bio-pod. For a moment he reflected over the past twenty-four months, Charlene had been the most annoying of his affairs, and frankly he was looking forward to his next stationing on the third sector of Mars; a whole new beginning, new mines and new women. After the six months in suspended animation he had a further twelve months to enjoy with his wife before returning to Mars.
‘Leaving soon. Come on, sir,’ a man in uniform said, appearing from seemingly nowhere.
‘I’m kind of hungry,’ Peter said.
‘Is your rath-cable broken?’
Peter heaved a sigh. His rath-cable was fine. It had been giving him enough nutrients to survive for twenty-four months, and it had enough reserves to easily complete the six month trip. ‘You got a steak?’
‘Not on Mars, sir. You’ll be home in a blink.’
Peter frowned and pulled the door shut, and strapped on the harness.
The 50689 spent the next three hours gaining speed, as it sped along the electromagnetic rail that veined Mars. As its speed reached the required velocity, it took another twenty-nine minutes to reach the hub. A ghostly strip of electricity stretched from the hub to earth, it could only be seen because of the lazer; warning spaceships to steer clear. The pilot of the 50689 cleared the take-off—the carriage hit the hub and was instantly shot along the lazer line straight to earth. Five seconds later followed the 50690.

spare some fuel?

On my way to getting my motorbike serviced today, i pulled on the side of the road to look at a rattle, and as i was putting my helmet back on, a seedy looking guy came scurrying across the road to my side, brandishing a two dollar coin. I thought, oh man whats going on. He came up and goes 'can i have two bucks worth of your fuel' i couldnt believe it. I only have a 9litre tank on my bike and i was close to empty, i hesitated and he goes 'it's ok i've got my own hose and container.' Who keeps their own hose and container!!! anyway i crossed the road and this guy was dirt poor, he had some kids in the back who he said he needed to get to town, and the car wasn't much chop. ANyway, he pulls out his hose and sticks it in my fuel tank and sucks on it till the fuel came out and into an old oil container, i looked into my tank and could see there wasnt much left, and he kept saying 'hold it down a bit lower, i need a better flow,' after a bit i told him i didnt have much fuel left, and he looked into his container and seemed satisfied, so after i told him it was ok, he still insisted on giving me the two bucks. I guess this kind of thing could only happen on the way to cessnock. But i got the whole good samaritan warm fuzzy feeling of helping someone out on the side of the road... i knew those bible classes at grammar school would finally pay off.... The whole thing reminded me of when Principal SKinner told Otto to fuel up the school bus and handed him a hose and said 'here's the credit card,' and he also gave him a mint. And after Otto got the syphon going he says 'damn i shouldn't have eaten the mint first.'

I thought i'd add here, some wise words of the almighty Jroc, King Daniel reins through his providence. lol. He quoted me in his latest blog so i thought i'd give him the same honour, with a 'U' - on waxing lyrical about his friends, Jroc says of me:
'daniel is one of those people you just meet from time to time and it seems like you've just always known them. we're amazingly different people, but we just have one of those organic friendships that seems to grow because of, i spite of, our differences. daniel's that awesome, smart kid you drink with and talk about the world and what it means. he has an infectious laugh that just speaks to the infinite awesomeness that is king daniel the wicked. of course, given my luck, he lives on the other side of the planet, in some marsupial infested hunk of rock where they barely speak intellegible english... here's to you danny boy.'
--
well, here's to you Jroc. I'm off to battle kangaroos, wombats, kookaburras, platypi, and the occasional swooping magpie.

Life on Mars

ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is coming to fruition. I got a letter of acceptance to english honours yesterday, which means my plan to go back to the USA is almost complete. If i get through honours, i'll be able to go to a university in the states for a two year masters. Im thinking one of the southern states again, like University of South Carolina; which was my second choice if i hadn't of gotten into Virginia, and only after being accepted to Virginia did i find out that Virginia was a hard-core accademic school and south carolina was a party school. Although it is tempting to go to a university in massachusetts-boston so i can catch some new england patriot games. Or George Mason near washington DC where Jroc is going for a masters.





This photo was taken by the nasa rover in november. When part of it is magnified it looks like some dude sitting on a rock. Some nerds looking over nasa's photos found the anomoly. He looks totally chilled, sitting on a rock having a smoke , not a care in the world to what the poisonous gases are doing to his lungs, not to mention the fact that mars has no layer to protect it from the sun, this guy is going to get some serious melanoma's and skin cancers. He'll end up like that person on that government ad about skin cancer - i can't believe they play that stuff when kids are watching, the australian government seems to have no qualms about shocking the absolute shit out of it citizens to wear sun block- we haven't had one of those speed ads for a few months, where you see people die, i guess the sun is this months enemy not speed. i remember speakign to some swedish backpackers once, and they were saying that when the speeding crash ad came on, everyone went quiet and then left the room-they said they couldn't believe the australian government could show us that stuff...... back to the photo, its actually only a few feet from the lander, so perhaps there aren't really little smoking men perched on rocks on mars.....
*
*
*
It's sad about Heath Ledger... i can't believe pneumonia and possibly a combo of sleepign pills got him, my neighbour died last friday of pnemonia but he was 84, it just seems like its easy to go, we potter around for a little bit paying bills and then die. On monday a bmw nearly got me on my motorbike. It was crazy, the chick pulled up next to me at the traffic lights, and looked at me so she knew i was there, then the light went green and she burnt off, but so did i, and i guess she thought she burnt off fast enough because after about two hundred metres she just pulled into my lane on top of me, i could see it coming so i didn't even feel an adrenaline rush , i just decelrated and beeped my horn. But if i had of been daydreaming, she would have got me, that's why i constantly ride with the mentality that people are actually trying to kill you, and then im ready and can get out of every situation pretty easy. And that chick in the BMW, oh man she must have thought she was going as fast as michael schumacher to outburn me on my bike, and then just blindly pull into the lane, lol. There will be no chance that anyone will be able to beat me when i get my R6.


*
i just thought id put up this pic, its kind of funny and inspiring




















Quotes:

Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
*
Stewie: Machiavelli! You've told me nothing I don’t already know! Ah Sun Zhu's The Art of War. Lois: Stewie, those books aren’t for babies. Here. Watch the Teletubbies.
Stewie: How dare you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind.

Miss American dream since i was seventeen...

oh man ive been drinking some of the wild turkey my aunt gave me for christmas, excellent gift, second only to a bottle of Jim Beam, but actually a pleasant change from Jim Beam-she obviously didn't read a couple of my blog posts before this where i openly admitted that i can't handle a full bottle of whiskey... nah, im doign ok, ive only had a few shots from it, and before that -a six pack of jim beam zero, and now after this one im having now, im turning in , im going to say enough- see i know when to stop now. but anyway while ive been slightly tipsy i started off listening to 'don't stop believing' by Journey, but in the last hour or so, i downloaded Britney Spears' new song, piece of me, and have been giving that a good run.... there is somethign about it, i can't stop listening...

anyway this morning i set my mobile phone to interupt me at 6.55am, and at about 7.15am i finally got up so i could watch the new england patriots destroy the san diego chargers and head straight for the super bowl feb 4th!!!!! all the way baby. I feel sorry for people who actually have to get up before abou t9-10 oclock, Jroc i know you never rose before about 2pm, i think we can put it down to a mark of genius, the more incredible you are, the longer your giant brain needs to stay in bed, lol, to recover and process giant ammounts of information. I can't believe it though, i only put twenty bucks on the patriots winning the super bowl at the start of the season... so if they win in two weeks i get 120 bucks. last year i put about four hundred on them , and they lost, so if i had of followed my gut this year i could of cleared a few grand... damn it...

in other news, i've settled on getting an R6 not an R1. The 600cc is supposed to corner smoother, and i dont really need to go 300km/h, now don't get me wrong the R6 will still beat any v8 or big car in a drag from the traffic lights, and i'll be able to corner with the confidence that if i accidentally hit the throttle a tiny bit i won't be thrown into the wall.

there was something else i wanted to talk about... umm... i forget .. i'll do a new post if i remember, and for those of you wondering about the title of this post, they are lyrics from this insanely addictive britney song.


Quotes
*
Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
*
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!

Moses, Let My People Go

oh man this is hilarious. I've never really watched american idol before, but the other night i tuned in, and got to see what was apparently the combined worst and funniest audition ever. This poor chap seems quite serious, yet he is terrible. I think he sounds like a deaf person, and does anyone else wonder where his front teeth are?
And his song choice!! freaking hilarious. i love it at the end when he is just droning on.. 'let my people go - let my people go - moses, let my people go'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdwGKV01uw0
this is the link for it on youtube- i can't stop laughing. The judges can't stop either. The whole thing is a farce.

Speaking of farce, what about farce on the high seas. Steve Irwin is back in action, only this time his namesake is on an anti-whaling vessel. The two guys who boarded the japanese whaling have some pretty serious khutzpah. I just like how the newscasters say - 'and they jumped from the Steve Irwin onto the whaling ship, no news on when they'll be sent back to the steve irwin. The steve irwin has been trailing the whaling ship...'

-i know that ostensibly the Japanese are killing these whales for research, and i know that everyone in the west knows it's a farce, and the meat gets sold... but how do they seriously get away with killing a thousand whales a year for 'research' How many whales do you have to cut open before you realize they all have a liver, a heart and some other organs, and why doesn't the halfwit scientician doing the research come to the conclusion that perhaps the best way to keep the species alive, is to let the thing go about its life un-harpooned. Here's a tip, I think perhaps a migratory study might reveal more, perhaps put some tracking devices on them and follow them around and work out their mating habbits and all that crap - that seems to be how most of the scientists conduct research on all the animal documentaries i have watched. And after all that if you are still unsatisfied, and really want to get to know what's inside of them, maybe harpoon one, two tops, but a freaking thousand!! seriously once you've seen one discected whale penis, you have seen them all.

argh give me the treasure

if you've ever dreamed of winning a million dollars, or one of these outrageous 30-100 million dollar lotteries chances are you were thinking about the island you're going to live on, or the mansion near the beach with the ferarri parked out front. Personally, i dream about the Ducati i would buy, and then even buying a private Ducati team in motogp. And i could go for rides with Casey Stoner around Kurri Kurri when he isn't racing, and then with our model wives cooking dinner we can swap stories of what it likes being part of motgp. Well thats my personal dream, and laugh at it if you want, its no more silly than dreaming of owning the dallas cowboys. So who has ever thought of winning big and then creating elaborate illusions. Big caverns filled with weird indiana jones traps that would more than likely wittle away most of the fortune. So you would end up with a bill taking 3/4 of your fortune. Not to mention the effort of killing all the workers, the many hundreds it would take to build such elaborate traps, and then the letters to their family. The whole thing is a logistical nightmare. Then you have the enigma, you have to leave crazy clues in really official places, like parliament or monuments.

And here's the good part!! you get to not have the treasure!!! you get to go back to your regular life, knowing that in two hundred years some dude may or may not follow the clues and find your treasure. and even if he is looking he may inadvertantly destroy a clue, and boom, your treasure is lost ot the ages. I would rather have my Ducati thank you. as a side note, i just watched national treasure 2. It was great.

Go Patriots.

This website in the US is awesome, we need one like this in Australia! It's simple there is a list of issues that you rate, and then you say who you are going to vote for, and then they say who is your closest policy match. Finally we can lift the mask of blind political rhetoric, and see who we really meld with. I've put up my results in this picture. I said i was going to vote mccain, and i had a feeling romney would be my match. It is a pretty close marriage, 93% my old man had a match with romney also at 75%. I ticked the boxes for gun control as a side note.

*

*

Well the silly season is finally over and i can get back to my new passion (a week long passion) of long distance running. My body still remembers the days of being school cross country champion and going to regionals and one state, but that was a long time ago. To help me, i have a bright orange camel drinking pack. My old man got it from the mines, hence the bright orange and the crazy reflective strips-no motorist would dream of hitting me. I will slowly mould my body back into a slender machine, capable of great distances, and shape my mind so that i live and breathe intestinal fortitude. (ive just come back from my second run)

*

My new life-long dream ergo is to win the local marathon, whichever one that may be. And prove all the nay-sayers wrong, and hopefully end up selling the rights of my epic story to someone who produce it straight for daytime television, and cast washed up 80's star and bret packer emilio estevez. I will protest the casting, but due to a shady contract i will have no say whatsoever, and the movie will tell the story of a mentally disabled boy who dreamed of running but had only one leg, and three sisters who force him to be their slaves.

**

In other shock news, Vinnie and Cody have left the OOC crew/show. They have started their own rival custom shop called V-force. Apparently Vinnie just wasnt getting enough of the royalties and doing all the work!!

Quotes:

The ROCK:

connery: looser whine about doing their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

stanley godspeed: carla was the prom queen.

*

Family Guy:

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?

Peter: Oh yeah.

*

Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.